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“After a lifetime of climbing, it's clear that the human form of light is love.”

My thoughts inspired by the book "Drinking from the river of light" by Mark Nepo.

"Child of the Light and of the Gods in temporal exile" by Panos Tsagaris

“After a lifetime of climbing, it's clear that the human form of light is love.”

Tears are coming to my eyes while I read this sentence.

I remember you. Your time on earth. The time, we experienced each other.

The lessons I learned from you. The tough and the loving.

I feel the pink curtains on my skin like a veil of protection.

I remember your battles, your sufferings and your sorrows, the victories and the losses.

Anger, resentment, regret and despair. Sometimes I feel, I try so hard to bring the exact words to my mind.

Perhaps I didn't pay so much attention to the words. I wouldn't imagine those were your last ones.

And here you are, like the God, who is finally answering my prayers. The ones I did, as a little girl behind the pink curtains in my room.

Here you are now, telling me that “after a lifetime of climbing, it's clear that the human form of light is love.” my little girl, you always knew.

Love and compassion are the witnesses this time.

So did you.I reply. Everyone knows it. Everyone is.

Here I am, exactly 10 years after you left, “tugged underground” once again. Hades took my dear friend.. In the last 2 years we had countless conversations, always in God's presence, in order to understand what this experience, this reality, had to teach us. We both experienced wonderful gifts, valuable lessons, every time feeling rich and grateful. The deeper we digged the more light we found.

On the news of her passing, last week, I froze. Felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. This “nothing” that you understand that something is wrong.

Cultivating my intuition and building a strong connection with the divine has been my priority for the last year or so.

For years I was doubting God's existence. Growing up in Greece, where homeland and church are the basic pillars of the society, “cool kids need” to doubt and rebel. I feel sorry now for all the moments I missed with God.

I keep staring at my phone, the message I received from her beloved husband, incapable of reacting in any way.

I found myself doubting God once again. A big WHY is blocking any connection of heart and mind.

“My sorrow is too big to put into words, I wish God had listened to our prayers, I wish Love had won.We have to stay strong for her, keep the light on. It is this light that will help her return to her glowest light and give it back to us, as she always did.” I found myself responding to her husband and my friend.

“Love did win. Love is still winning” He replies.

I go up to my rooftop. The beautiful colors of the sunset soften my heart. The bold lines of the skyscrapers and how they drill the sky, remind me of my mind and how it drills my heart. The way the sunset colors blend so wonderfully with the skyline, help me find the balance within. Connect to my center, let go, so I can fully be.

At this moment of doubt, where the light in me flickers, my friend's husband's words of courage and love spoke directly in my heart and opened it up for me to see.

My beloved Aspasia, speaks to me now through the sun that is setting. “I know, she says. Let go of the “why” and Trust.”

For 40 days, that her soul continues to wander the earth. I promised her I'll celebrate her life.

For 40 days, ll take the advice of a Tibetan monk and devote my meditation to reflecting on death.

According to Greek mythology, the Cyclopes had only one eye after making a deal with Hades, god of the underworld, in which they traded one eye for the ability to see the future. They traded one eye to find out that the only thing that is certain is that they are going to die.

Today is not guaranteed. This is an amazing wake-up call for us to make the most of the relatively little time we all have. Time to be glad and grateful we're alive. Time to be kind to our loved ones, rather than time to stress about things we have no control over.

Let go and trust. Don't be afraid to go underground. You will find the light and the courage to bring it up to the surface stronger.

“Each of us when most ourselves are momentary conduits, lightning rods of the whole, transmitting the essence of things to one another.” Mark Nepo



I'm Leah

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